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October 01, 2006

Recognizing my addiction to food

Ever since I donated one of my kidney's a few years ago, I have put on weight. My efforts to moderate my diet have failed. Last Friday, I admitted that I am addicted to food. I use it as a drug and I can't stop when I know I should. The latter is the real kicker. I can't stop.

Unlike my addiction to alcohol, however, total abstinence is obviously not possible. I have to eat, and I'm not wanting to look like a supermodel. What I want is to learn how to eat the food I need to maintain a healthy body and no more. I do not need to "treat" myself with desserts or snacks. Food as entertainment or reward doesn't serve my needs anymore.

Today I will focus on making a loving choice when it comes to meals, recognizing that I don't need to eat the portions I used to. Today, I choose not to eat my partner's leftovers. I'm not the family dog, after all. And today, I will be aware of when I am craving food and will recognize that these cravings are part of my addiction.

For reasons not yet apparent, I am exactly where I need to be. My name is Dharmashanti and I am an addict.

October 1, 2006 | Permalink

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